Children are not simply smaller, less experienced versions of adults.  They are qualitatively different, and therefore therapy with children is qualitatively different than that with adults.  Children learn through play, interactive and expressive experiences; this is also how they heal.

I employ a variety of therapeutic modalities when working with children and their families.  I have a typical approach, which is constantly tailored to the needs of each particular child and family.  The following is a basic outline:

Usually, the first session is with parents and child together.  I want children to know what I know about them (there are exceptions), and to be part of the process of determining if we are a good “match.”  I wish to hear everyone’s perspective on concerns and goals.  Sometimes parents wish to screen me, or talk to me about sensitive material.  In these cases I meet with them alone first.

I most frequently work with children individually.  My first goal is to establish a trusting therapeutic relationship with the child.  Without this alliance, nothing further is possible, and it should be noted that this alliance is healing in and of itself.  I utilize drawing, clay, puppets, games, sand tray and other expressive techniques to explore the inner life of the child:  feelings; thoughts; likes; dislikes; beliefs; worries; irritations; experiences, etc.  I am especially attuned to negative self-statements and how the child gets into trouble.  Together we explore these in an attempt to integrate them into the self more constructively.

Parents are always involved in their child’s therapy, although there can be quite a range as to how much involvement there is.  At the minimum parents keep me updated on significant events, and I provide occasional updates as to the general nature of my work with the child.  Sometimes I see parent(s) and child together when communication or specific relationship dynamics are an issue.  Often I work separately with parents on managing difficult behaviors or providing education about their child’s issues.  Sometimes the work is solely with the parents.

While I work in a typical framework, I remain open to the specific, and often changing, needs of each child and family.  What does not change is the goal of creating a safe and trusting space for the child, where all parts of the self can be expressed, heard, and nurtured.